Norman Montgommery Chan was born on August 23, 1984, just moments after his parents stepped off a Chinese junk that sailed from Hong Kong and beached on the rocky shores of the Lincoln Park Golf Course in San Francisco. Norm might have a twin. Norm's parents quickly sold him to the SF VA Medical Center for a tidy proft. There, Norm was subjected to medical experiments that gave him superhuman journalist abilities. Sometime later, he escaped and was reunited with his parents. He forgave them for selling him, and actively denies the truth of his early years.
- Norm once got high on the Portland drugs, which in turn enabled him to consume approximately 8,500 calories over the rest of that day.